It might seem like we’re talking about the Middle Ages, but there was a time when relationships started face to face. Clearly, the dating pool back then was significantly smaller, but there was a precious advantage to it: you could “read” your date right away.
In the technologically-advanced and emotionally-stunted age we live in, with the advent of internet dating, we need to develop a whole new set of skills, to be able to correctly read our wannabe partner from the very beginning, and to save ourselves a lot of troubles and heartache.
If you get to know someone via texting (either the classic way or through some app messaging), your mind will unconsciously try to fill out the missing parts of your conversation (tone of voice, body language etc.). By not realizing this, you run the risk of creating a totally different person in your mind than the one you are exchanging messages with.
To avoid the pitfalls of an overactive imagination, here are a few red flags you can learn to notice from the start.
1. All replies are one-word answers
If you notice that all the answers you’re getting are monosyllabic, or they used to be longer, but not anymore, it is clear that something is not right. Either the other person has stopped being interested and doesn’t want to initiate the break, or they are not able to carry on a conversation. Either way, best to get rid of them.
2. They demand to always know what you are up to
As you can guess, this is not normal, healthy behavior. Even if, at first, it might seem sweet to you, making them out as genuinely interested in you, if the behavior continues, your chat partner is either controlling or very insecure. Not good, either way.
3. A reply that seems to take hours to be written
Unfortunately, this seems to be a real thing, of late. Men will start typing a reply, but will stop in the middle, leaving it active for a longer period of time, just to keep you on your toes, waiting. It seems to originate from the pick-up artist text-book and, apart from the fact that it is totally lame, it also hints to a misogynistic type of behavior you really should avoid.
4. Passive-aggressive replies to delayed answers
When you, for whatever reason, don’t reply immediately to their texts, he will start using passive-aggressive language like “I guess you’re busy” (and don’t have time for me, although I am waiting here for your reply). If you notice this, run. The man at the other end is very insecure and mentally unstable.
5. Silence as punishment
If you don’t reply fast enough (in their opinion) or don’t send the “right” reply, they will “retaliate” by not sending anything for hours on end. This is just another form of passive-aggressive behavior you probably should not want any part of.
6. Their texts only arrive late at night
Some men, when they’re only interested in the physical, will use this tactic to discourage you from demanding something more. They will only text back when they think you are already asleep, to avoid getting an immediate reply.
7. They “missed” your message. For days.
In this day and age, it is actually impossible to miss a message for more than a few hours, and that only because the person might be busy with something else at the time. But when they finish, they check their phone and see the message. If he doesn’t reply for days, just dump him. He is clearly not worth it.
8. You always text first
As any form of communication, conversations are a two-way act. If you are the only one initiating, always, it only shows that the other party is not really all that interested in you, so why should you be interested in them? Don’t feel bad, and dump him immediately.
We at BetterMe want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love!
You can help us spread this love by sharing this with those around you and letting us know what you think in the comments below.