How to distinguish healthy relationships from unhealthy people who do not have a future? Dependent, toxic, neurotic - name them as you want. The point is that unhealthy relationships do not bring real happiness, but are its surrogate.
That is, in fact, people in relationships do not get pleasure from them, but the idea of parting also gives them pain. Such relationships are associated with a state of anxiety, a vague or obvious feeling that your interests are not taken into account, models that sooner or later lead to neuroses and psychosomatic disorders are practiced.
However, sometimes unhealthy relationships from the outside do not look like wrong ones. There are also dates, passion, candy-bouquet period, and often neither the surrounding, nor even the victim himself can identify that something is going wrong. Nevertheless, psychologists distinguish the following alarming calls, which clearly indicate that your relationship is dangerous and unhealthy.
#1. NO FEELING OF JOY
A very unobvious feature, which usually characterizes the beginning of a love relationship. In unhealthy relationships, joy can be present at the initial stage, but it never lasts long. Alarming signs appear soon - first in an innocent joke that jarred you, and later in a ban, which he would explain by taking care of you. These relationships not only do not inspire, but, on the contrary, they land you. There is a feeling that you have wings cut, deprived of freedom, that you do not always do what you want to do. If the relationship lasts a long time, then sooner or later there is a feeling of emptiness, fatigue and depression. To get out of them becomes more difficult with time, as the victim loses his will and sense of reality.
#2. ALL ATTEMPTS TO UNDERSTAND THE ATTITUDE RELATIONS
For example, tormented by the fact that something goes wrong, you want to talk. This is sensible and constructive. Only here all your words and arguments seem to be wasted. In fact, it turns out clarification for the sake of clarification. Trying to figure out who is right and who is at fault leads to nothing. On the contrary, in the process everything turns upside down, you leave the essence of the problem, and there is already a feeling that you are not right around. Familiar? If yes, then know - such discussions are an example of violation of personality boundaries and manipulative behavior of a partner. Instead of a real discussion, you get a headache, and are not really happy that you started it.
#3. PARTNER'S SUCCESS IS RECORDED CRITICALLY
In normal relations, partners rejoice at each other's successes, but if the relationship is not the most healthy, then one of the signs is the reluctance to accept the partner's success. Psychologists explain this by the desire for control - the potential of a loved one is being questioned, in order to increase his self-esteem in such a simple way. As we understand, this is a dead-end path that leads to a decrease in the partner's self-esteem and neurotic ways of manipulation.
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#4. MOOD SWING
Mood swings - from feverish gaiety to dramatic hysteria, from ostentatious suffocating love and caring for anger, rage or ostentatious indifference - is the clearest example of the fact that there is no harmony here. Are you never sure what to expect from him? Do you live on a powder keg? Congratulations - you are on the right way to the clinic of neuroses.
#5. DISCLAIMER OF COMMUNICATIONS
Each of us has every right in any relationship to feedback. If the partner denies it, then he uses one of the most violent manipulations that sociopaths and abusers especially like, that is, people with whom a healthy relationship can not be a priori. Refusal to explain the reason, pauses in conversations, leaving in English, ignoring calls, playing silently - all these are examples of a boycott that disorient the victim and drive her crazy. Run before it's too late, because ignoring is a meaningful and cruel way of manipulation.
#6. DESIRE OF CONTROL
You did not have time to understand how it happened that he is aware of all your plans, calls, movements. Full awareness of all partner affairs is usually the first step towards imposing one's opinion. As soon as you are required to report on actions, thoughts and movements, and you can not defend your borders, this will become a serious precedent. Your life will never be the same.
We at BetterMe want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love!
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