Men like to pretend they are low maintenance. If they have their games, nachos, beers and some cuddles before sleep, they are perfectly happy. From time to time, they need to be taken out for a walk, to get some fresh air.
Despite what they like others to think about them, men actually want more than the above from a relationship. You cannot hope for a healthy and strong relationship without understanding this simple fact and doing something about it.
Relationships mainly break down because of miscommunication and lack of understanding between partners. Unless both partners understand and respect the needs and wants of the other, there is almost no way to keep the relationship going. Don’t just act like you understand what your man wants. Take the time to discover his needs, or you will always be out of sync.
Here are a few things you need to look out for, to better understand your man.
Although it sounds simple, how many of us women praise our partners when they do something right, instead of always criticizing them? Men have sensitive egos, easily hurt by criticism and equally easily healed by praise. They like to save the day, to be the hero who rescues the damsel in distress. Don’t assume that they don’t need praise because they know how good they are. If they do something right, praise them to their heart’s content and they will know that you love them.
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Men know that they are not perfect. They know very well what their flaws and quirks are. They are willing to try and change some things, but there are certain aspects that they won’t give up on no matter what. Make them feel that you accept them as they are, with the good and the bad, and they will be grateful. Try to sculpt them into a new, different person, and you are accelerating on the slippery slope of relationship disaster.
They might not show it, but for men it is very important that you respect them. Respect their career choices, their fashion sense, their friends and family. Try to contest their decisions as little as possible and, above all, respect them for who they are. Lack of respect dents their ego and their pride. It makes them feel worthless because they are supposed to be your protector and, if you don’t respect them, what are they?
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#4. Emotional safe space
Do you think men are invincible? Do you really think they never cry? Maybe you even believe yours is Batman. But even Batman needs a shoulder to cry on from time to time. No matter how much of a macho front they put up, men are usually quite emotional. They cry. Heck, they sometimes even blubber. Not at movies, like us, but about facts of life, like a bad day at work, worries about tomorrow or a sick parent.
Also, they won’t cry around other men. It is an unwritten rule of the “wolf pack”. Or show off their vulnerable side on Facebook. You need to be their safe emotional outlet. They need you to be there when they are emotionally fragile, not for judgement or advice. Just to listen and to be there for them.
Men tend to express what they want directly, without much subterfuge. And they expect the same from you. Be honest, be upfront with them. Don’t lie that you are alright, when, in fact, you are far from alright. Make them understand what is on your mind. Remember that very few men can read you as you read them.
As you might already know, men have a notorious commitment problem. Try too hard to hold a man down and all you manage is to make him look for an exit. Men need space. Unlike you, they need space to do their own thing, without you breathing down their neck. Be it going out with his friends, building something in the garage or collecting baseball cards, it does not matter what it is. They need space and time to do it by themselves. Be careful not to suffocate them with affection and they will be fine.
We at BetterMe want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love!
You can help us spread this love by sharing this with those around you and letting us know what you think in the comments below.