If you want to be happy, you need to have friends and family who will support and influence you. However, sometimes it is easy to fall into the hands of manipulators, who just pretend to be your friends.
It is so hard to find someone who will support and help you unconditionally without wanting any personal profit. Just like in business people estimate the ROR (rate of return) before investing in the company.
Manipulators will try to get what they want without effort and risks along the way. They do everything to work around the system to get maximum benefits. They spend plenty of time and energy to create a perfect space where they can control the situation.
Manipulative relationships can be hurtful and damaging, but it is not easy to recognize this type of relationship. In this article, we would like to show you four ways to detect a manipulator and disarm him. Are you interested? Scroll down to read this article right now.
#1. Recognize that you have a problem
In order to solve the problem, you should understand that you have a problem. The first signal that you have a problem is to see that you don't feel you are right. If you feel doubtful about promises and agreements you gave, it is time to detect a manipulator.
Here are several classic traits of manipulative people:
- They think their needs are way important than the needs of other people.
- They expect you will always help them when they ask for help.
- They often have a huge problem that requires immediate action.
- Other people start noticing that you give to a manipulator more than you get. (The opinions of other people can help you determine a manipulator)
- Real manipulators will detect and use your weaknesses against you.
- They often make you feel guilty.
- They change their opinions, behaviors, or feelings depending on the particular person or situation.
- Don't expect a manipulator to drop everything for you when you need him the most.
#2. Ask questions
A manipulator will always demand things from you. These demands are usually formulated in such a way that you should feel favored at the possibility to help.
A manipulator likes to control everything, so it can be useful to steal some of that control by placing the focus back on them by asking questions. Ask them direct questions to show that you know everything about them.
- I see, you need me. But can you help me understand how this beneficial for me?
- Does your request seem like a reasonable request to you?
- Do you think it is fair to ask me to do this?
By asking these questions, you show that you are aware of their real motive. After these questions manipulators usually see things how they really are and stop asking you to do their requests.
#3. Don't be afraid to say “no”
You are the one who is responsible for your actions. You should understand that you cannot change the behavior of a manipulator, but you can change your own behavior of a victim. Once you learn how to say “No”, you will stop being a victim.
You are manipulated because you allow yourself to be manipulated. Once you realize that you are manipulated, you should find a way to get rid of false influence. Be strong and don't let it get to you. Your firm “No” is the best way to break free from the manipulator's influence.
#4. Don’t waste your time
Manipulators are good at what they do so they will try to respond to all your protests. They know that the best way to convince us is to make us agree immediately. But the thing is that you don't actually need to answer as soon as possible.
You have a right to use your time to your advantage. Answer a manipulator “I will think about it.”. That powerful statement is a great way to have a fresh assessment of the situation.
The bottom line
We can stay in a relationship for plenty of reasons, but we should only stay in it if it is serving us. All people in a relationship are equal. Getting and giving attention and help is a part of a true relationship. So if you feel that you are the one who gives without expecting anything in return, you may be manipulated.
Remember that is okay to say “No”, if you don't feel a desire to help. Put your needs first. Don't neglect yourself.
We at BetterMe want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love!
You can help us spread this love by sharing this with those around you and letting us know what you think in the comments below.