Manipulation is the clash of authorities of parents and children. Who will win? To fight on the family front, you know, it is disgusting, and that's why parents often surrender without a fight. What to do if a child is manipulating his parents?
Manipulation is an implicit, hidden tactic of influencing the psyche of others in order to achieve the desired results. In one way or another, everyone does it. At work in the team, in the public transport, in the subway, or in the family.
However, parents themselves can teach their children to manipulate them. Experienced manipulators have reached this impressive altitude! Parents often manipulate children: Do you want a chocolate bar? Then remove the toys! Do you love me? Then go with your grandmother to the country!
Children learn the art of psychological influence almost from birth, they also have excellent teachers - their own mother and father. Even, if the parents try not to resort to manipulation, there are no guarantees that children will not differently blackmail their ancestors. Mastering this art, they learn to be more successful.
Manipulation is important to recognize as quickly as possible and to take some action, otherwise negative consequences can not be avoided. Often the manipulation of children in relation to their parents is like a lack of love. You should not mix it up. There are 7 behaviors the children might be using to manipulate parents:
#1. Tantrums. Hysteria is the most frequent way for children to get what they want, but if you talk calmly with the child, you will see a lot of indifference. The main thing is to keep yourself in hand, because it is this child who is trying to make you mad. If the child does not listen and arranges a hysteric, you can even leave your child for a while, so that without his crying you can put your nerves in order, and then try to talk to him. Most likely during your absence the child will calm down.
#2. False promises. Children can use this type of manipulation in order to get what they want. For example: I will do this or that, if you let me doing this or that. However, getting what they want they often forget about their promises.
#3. Playing the victim card. By shifting the blame on the other, the child tries to escape punishment. In the future, this can deprive the child of his friends and basic respect. Therefore, never shout and do not abuse the child for faults and tricks. Let him be sure that he can confess everything to you, that you will support him.
#4. Emotional blackmail. Your task is not to be fooled by your child. He can try to crush you, just using this technique. Ask your parents what they want for their children most of all, and many of them will say that they want to make them happy. This attitude often becomes a way of teenage blackmail. For example, I will be very sad / I will be upset / unhappy until I take mine. This is one of the most powerful stimulating manipulations. Hearing this from their children, they are usually willing to accept many of their requests.
#5. Steamrolling. Asking the same questions for a hundred of times, your child can try to make you mad. You should not react and be as strong as before. Show him that his behavior does not have any sense.
#6. Lying. This is one of the widespread types of manipulating. Children can say a lot of things which you want to hear just to get what they want. Teens think that by hiding the truth, they use the best way to get what they want. Lying for their salvation is very common. Moreover, the older a teenager is, the more difficult it is to identify a lie: it becomes more and more sophisticated. In addition, teens agree in advance with friends about the option for their parents, so anyone you ask will repeat the same thing.
#7. The silent treatment. All parents face the situation when their teenage child is quiet, sullen and refusing to talk. Psychologists point out that children use closure as a strategy, because they think that if they refuse to respond and show interest in life, any requests to them will stop. To cope with this form of manipulation, you can limit the things he likes most of all. For example, watching TV or walking out with friends. It is in this case that the refusal of your child will begin to work against him.
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