All people are different, and the families they create are also different. But a number of claims women keep making to their men word for word, year to year, from generation to generation. Psychologists have analysed most popular complaints, and we present to you their original meaning. Did you know these complaints can bring more love and harmony to the relationship?
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#1. "He doesn’t get me!"
It's difficult to convey to him how those beige-striped wallpaper is different from another beige-striped wallpaper, why it's important for you to go to your parents together, or why you’re worried about the future. In order for your emotions to be noticed, you have to put them in words!
"No, I'm not offended. It’s just that we’ve discussed how nice it would be to go out together on the weekend. We do not see each other for weeks on end. Let's leave our the phones at home and think about where we will go!“ What woman has enough strength for such a monologue? The one who had vented to her best friend the day before about how difficult it is to reach out to men.
Girls don’t need words to capture emotions , their mood improves and the situation seems easier. Therefore, the second stage is also logical: "But in general, he is a good man: handy, and kind, and has a great sense of humour.“ Maybe he’s still doesn’t get you instantly, but it’s easier to choose the right words when you’re in a good mood. The main thing here is to keep the desire to negotiate instead of keeping grievances.
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#2. “And who did I cook this for?"
Your man is changing to his comfy clothes after a work day and you’re rushing to set the table. No need to rush: he is already full. As he was changing, he already made himself a sandwich and inhaled some tasteless porridge from the pressure cooker... Oh, this was for our kid? Oh, for when he has breakfast tomorrow? "I'm hungry and you didn’t tell me!“ And you find you have nothing to object looking into his honest eyes. All you can do is to retell this same situation to your girlfriends again and again, expressing surprise at how he managed to eat the dinner as well. You’re a great cook, after all. There’s the thing you can boast about. And his great appetite is a sign of excellent health and superman’s strength. So it turns out that a woman who complains about her man’s dietary habits is actually proud of his brutality.
#3. “How will I leave him alone with our children!"
The man is another child in the family, that’s a fact. Dads join them in games and enjoy getting filthy together. When you take a day off from household chores, daddy would cook eggs according to an Internet recipe, or makes pancakes, decorating the kitchen with a layer of flour and dirty dishes… Well, you can not say directly and specifically: "My husband is a wonderful father!" because people will immediately find cause for doubts. But if you retell the story of your youngest painting him like a zebra using your French mascara brush all the while he didn’t even bat an eye, everyone will fall over themselves to tell you how lucky you are. And this is already nice. By the way, he still does not remember which year of school his daughters have started, since he still sees them as his babies and spoils them. And yesterday, he made a helicopter from a broken fan for his 6-month-old son, what a nuisance! Keep praising him.
#4. "It's like he dresses with his eyes closed"
White socks with black trousers. A jacket over a track suit. And his favorite coat from his long-gone student days. A homeless guy who lives on the street would change the wardrobe more often!
“Seems quite normal,“ your friends say. And you tell them about your friend’s wedding. You left a little earlier and left a great suit in a place he could easily find it. But he didn’t.
If you’re indignant about the way your beloved dresses himself, this means you care. Indifference (not to be confused with acceptance!) often means the feelings aren’t as strong.
#5. “He will not do anything unless I ask"
People are yet to master telepathy. It is absolutely normal when a woman asks to help her with something, and a man responds and does help. But is it really that difficult not to leave his shoes in the middle of the hallway? Or to tidy up the guest room without any reminders? The shelf in the hallway will not fix itself, as won’t the shower head. Someone said that the memory of a woman for such things is tenacious, but the hands of a man are more adroit.
But maybe you’re not complaining at all but telling the world how much you managed to do together. To consolidate what you've gone through, to "move that mountain." Even if you are an eternal initiator, and he is a leisurely performer, doesn’t this mean your union is really effective? And your spouse is a skilled life partner, so it is only necessary to motivate him.
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Perhaps the gentlemen reading this (hello!) now feel more cheerful, having read up to this point. So we will clarify: this is a different instance from “He doesn’t do anything no matter how much I ask,” which is another, sad story. So what about that weekend outing, huh?
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We at BetterMe want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love!
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