Some relationships are plagued by anxiety, mostly due to the constant feeling that your partner is losing interest in you. The main problem is that, no matter how you try to fix things, they just seem to go from bad to worse, and never get any better. If you’re to have any chance of getting it together and turning things around, you should consider some possible scenarios before you plot your next move.
#1. Not really all that interested from the start
It is relatively easy to figure out if a man is or isn’t truly interested in you from the beginning. Just look back and quantify the effort he’s put into maintaining the relationship. If you realize that, most of the time, you were the one initiating and pushing things forward, it is clear that he wasn’t really interested in you to start with.
As to why that happens, there are 2 possibilities: he just wants sex, or he doesn’t really like you, even if your first date went well. For both these situations, your mistake was expecting something you had no real basis for. So, to avoid repeating history, keep your initial expectations low and try to make better choices. It’s as simple as that.
#2. Still interested, but the relationship has become routine
In the beginning of all relationships, the man pulls out all the stops (all the small gestures, fancy dates, a lot of romance and excitement). But lately, all that seems to have gone away, and you worry that he might have lost interest in you. Stop worrying. All relationships become “comfortable” sooner or later. Remember how those old couples act? Even if they bicker and tease each other all the time, there is a feeling of something much deeper. That is just how a healthy relationship evolves.
What you can do in this case is help him and yourself “rediscover” each other. Let him do some “manly” things alone and you can also do some things you don’t necessarily want to do with him. Try to get rid of the fixation that something is wrong, that he is losing interest in you. Fixating on this will only make you act irrationally, and that, indeed, could make him start slowly distancing himself from you.
#3. Still interested, but going through some serious personal issues
It happens sometimes, that your partner gets into a situation which stresses him out. It could be something like losing a job or struggling at work, a death in his family, money problems or even the memory of a past, but not distant, relationship he ended.
In this case, the solution is really simple. Give him the time he needs to solve his problem, and be there for him when he needs it most. Also, don’t pressure him, because you don’t want to add to the already immense pressure on his shoulders. If you do that, he might snap, and it will be you who’s ruined a perfectly good relationship.
#4. Losing interest because you seem to have let your bar down
There are to aspects to this problem: you’ve started sliding physically or you’ve started sliding emotionally.
If it’s the first, you have to remember that, for men, a woman’s aspect is important not just because of how she looks, but because men think that a woman who does not take care of herself has lost respect for her own person. Basic things like taking care of your hair, skin, watching your weight, wearing clean clothes (including the undies) and not making a pig sty out of the house are important in a relationship. If you take care of those aspects, your man will have absolutely nothing to complain about.
Regarding the second problem, this can be translated as “you got to the point where you assume that his being with you is a given”, so you don’t even try to control your emotions. You start criticizing everything he does, do not recognize his achievements, seldom let him know that you appreciate his efforts, and start having absurd expectations of him.
In this case, try and figure out what it is that’s making you act and feel as you do. If you need to talk it over with him, don’t be afraid to do so. Contrary to your expectations, he will be more than willing to help you get past whatever is bothering you, so you can become your normal, optimistic, happy self again.
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